Breaking up isn’t what anyone desires when a relationship is involved. Some of the memories that hold the relationship together may be telling you to give it one more shot. But in the event that you’ve looked through everything over and over again without any reason to change your mind, then ending the relationship could be the only option you have. With the decision made, the next step is even harder. How do you tell your partner? How would they feel? Would I receive a hostile reaction after breaking the news? These are some of the fears people experience when they want to break up a relationship that isn’t just working from their perspective. To allay these fears, you’d need to make use of the steps outlined in this read. They are practical and won’t cause any hard feelings or hurt the other partner. Break-ups are hard, but with these steps, they become much easier.
Step 1 – Your Tone Is Vital
It is important to understand that the manner in which the message is passed is one way to get the news across without breaking any hearts. Your tone of voice is important because if you employ a forceful tone, the other party may pick offense and get hurt inside. An average, audible tone when expressing your non-interest in the relationship will keep the other party calm and prevent the development of bad feelings. This helps the partner come to terms with the break-up better than when the tone was a bit high.
Step 2 – Timing is everything in a Hurt-Free Break-Up
When you wish to let the other partner go without any hurt attached to your final conversation, the best thing for you to do is to make time work for you. The more time you spend with your partner during the break-up period, the more hurt they’ll feel. This is why when you wish to break things up, be direct, don’t waste too much time, and get out of there as fast as you can.
Step 3 – Offer to Keep the Friendship
When you break-up with a partner, you have to be sensible. Telling them what will make them feel comfortable will make it easier for them to come to terms with the new status of the relationship. Making them comfortable may involve offering to keep the other partner as a friend without any other thing attached. This works like magic, as the partner in the break-up may feel there’s still hope since you’re still friends. Afterwards, it is possible to draw away some more and the hurt they’ll feel will be non-existent, or watered down at best.
Step 4 – Don’t Place Emphasis on What the Other Partner Did
More than half of break-ups in relationships take place because of the actions of the other partner. When breaking up, bringing up what the partner did wrong could result in two reactions. Firstly, depending on the emotional make-up of your partner, it could result in a high feeling of guilt. This guilt could make them hurt more and make them do something unexpected. Secondly, it could send the both of you into an argument marathon, and that’s what you want to avoid by all means. This is why you should take the safe path through not placing emphasis on what the other person did. Remember, you’ve decide to break-up, so whatever they did, or didn’t do, shouldn’t bring up any animosity toward your partner.
Step 5 – Use the Right Words
Everyone knows that wise words turn away anger, but foolish words encourage a session of rage and outbursts that could lead to long-lasting hurt. There are words that cannot be said right in any tone when ending a relationship. Cutting the chase and making your words as plain and concise as possible is the best step you can take. Avoid words such as “if you had done this” or “I would have continued if you had been there”, these words cause some arguments that may lead to something else.
Step 6 – Be Direct and Indirect at the Same Time
Being direct and indirect may sound contradictory, but it isn’t. There are many ways you can employ this technique without hurting your partner. For instance, you may use the words “I’m not interested in the relationship anymore, I want to move on”, or “We have to end this relationship, It’s just not working for me”. These statements have expressed your intention to break-up, without actually telling the reason why you want to. It is a fact that the break-up isn’t the problem to most partners in a break-up, the reason behind the break-up is normally the heartbreaker. This is why you should make use of this twin method to get the relationship ended without causing any hurt.